Joe's Knives

You took a little knife:

That collection your dad took away, from when you use to cut yourself.

You took the prettiest one and made sure thee was none of me left

Carefully carved me out.

Did I never exist?

Did we never exist?

You knew exactly what you were doing

You knew you were trying to erase me

Was it really that bad?

I am really that much of a monster?

Three years down the drain

Three years I'll never forget, never regret.

Will you scar?

Have you healed?

Could you really do it that fast, I know I can't.

I'm trying to be me.

But I'm becoming an empty shell of happiness

I can't be in a bad mood, because I don't feel anymore.

I can't.

I'll never love.

I can't.

I'll never be.

I can't.

I don't want to move.

I can't.

All I can do is sleep

As much as possible

All there is school that keeps me awake

I'm scared of thinking too much and letting it all back in

I've desensitized myself trying to make everything okay.

I'm a big girl, I'm mature I keep telling myself.

Is that really true?

Can I just shrug off love.

If I can't

I sure as hell am trying hard.